So it has been a bit, many changes have been going down in my world – some good, some bad and some that were flatly necessary. Change is scary, but good for the soul. Growing up and evolving can be a very enlightening experience in so many ways…for year you can drift along, questioning yourself, your ability and your motivations. Then one day, out of nowhere, you realize – I FUCKING GOT THIS MAN. Insanity. There is no bad news I cannot withstand, horror I cannot face or heartbreak I cannot rise from. Some say callous is a bad thing, but I see it as a necessity especially in the business I work in. I work three (+ at times) jobs costumed as one, without some armor I would have crumbled to pieces by now.
It took me 2+ years to feel like I was in a place to contact an agent and when I got a response recently heard the most mind blowing feedback…”there’s just not much in music.” Wow. From a separate a voice over agent I heard that I was “too much of a DJ” and needed some “formal training.” You live you, learn. What this all sparked in me was the revelation that so much of this world is contingent on the bullshit standards of other. We live our lives for the man, by the man – and mind you, many times the white man. The more I hear no from these channels I appropriated as legitimate, the more I realize that I can be 15, 20, or 70 – I will ALWAYS be a rebel. I care about music because making music is the thing that makes me feel alive, I’m not some crockpot journalist trying to win my brownie points, I lived this shit. I’m not losing 50 lbs and dressing like a Times Square 80’s hooker reject or stereotypical “metal chick” in order to get my message heard. I feel too often media wants to categorize us, fit us in that envelope so once our utility has exceeded its limit, we can be readily sent and filed away. That, will never be me. My ultimate retirement plan? Sitting on a tropical island day in and out, singing covers for a living. Why not? I am in this game to be true to myself, to empower women and to make some good music. (BTW, we’re finally putting out the Gazelle album which is beyond exciting!)
So…from all of this, I am convinced the only thing I can do is stay true to Boxxtalk. I bought that bitch, so yes, all my videos will now live on boxxtalk.com. The site will feature a variety of female writers, musicians, columnists, comedians and more. If you are interested in that end, please contact me! I look at it as a nod to greats like the now defunct Missbehave, real women talking about what we do and how we can do it better. Very excited for this venture and to remain true to who I am and my mission. The vanity of this industry sickens me and I’m not going to be a pawn in its’ shitty game. I am the Trojan horse and I’m ready to shake things up.
PS – this site will stay as a landing page for all my other ventures 🙂