Recent life for me has been one big social experiment in imaging and perception. For someone who works in a very open profession I admit that when it comes to real things I am super private. It’s a conflicting notion – to do what I need to do I need to be open and wear my heart on my sleeve but frankly, I don’t want to invite the world in sometimes. What’s truly real to me is extremely precious, especially when it comes to love. Putting it all out there in Facebook, etc is not my style and I had a friend suggest to me recently that I should just take single off and put nothing to make my profile mostly business oriented. I thought to myself, pretty novel concept and good idea overall so I did it. Absolutely nothing changed in reality, just a virtual drop off. Who gives a fuck really?
Of course after years of having single status up, the one time I change it, something would happen in the real world to formally question my move. Believe me, it was personal enough to make me even go through the bullshit of this whole re-instituting my single status on Facebook. It kills me that this one small thing, a tiny declaration to the virtual world means anything at all. I decided after this situation to put it back, yet absolutely NOTHING had changed in reality. I even hid it immediately to not make a deal of it at all but because of Facebook’s lovely need to soundboard every minute detail to my thousands of FB friends it was too late. It began, the multiple 11 am texts from friends, “likes” on the change even though again NOTHING had changed at all. I flat out thought to myself…this is fucking insane.
The most hilarious part of this all was the fact that Facebook won’t just delete what you ask it to. Instead, inherently letting the drama play out in the constructs of context without an explanation. The second thing that had me laughing and equally disgusted was the “likes” of the status, again who gives a fuck!? Not to play out anyone who liked it but it comes off so thirsty and in the most impersonal, insensitive way. My status was always single, why is it any different now that it’s being re-declared? It’s always the usual suspects and it doesn’t change my feelings for anyone at all. Why do people even feel the need to comment on the change, furthermore why is Facebook so evil to even enable that? Everyone bitched that MySpace made interaction harder, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Mystery is good, if I didn’t do what I do for a living I would want more of it for my life. The ability to put your two cents into anyone’s relationship change and status is just rude and unnecessary. I have endured several big heartbreaks and relationship changes without a peep to the virtual world, they just pour into fodder for my shitty songs. This instance has showed me so much and since I haven’t changed it in so long, now I can relate to those who have experienced similar feelings and discomfort.
This isn’t real life. You and I, are in a sinking virtual social experiment.