Baggage: checking in, or no?

Psychology …there has to be some truth somewhere in the jumble up there. I guess it’s only natural that since I talk for a living some of most revealing psychological moments would happen in conversation. The winter is good for that – liquor, revealing convo and making babies. Recently I had a random conversation with my neighbor upstairs who I rarely speak to on an uber personal level. He’s a pretty straightforward dude – goes to the gym, loves hockey and mainstream metal + cock rock, laughs when I make smart ass banter and seems to have questionable luck with women. Good dude overall. In our 2 hour convo we drank wine and chatted with another neighbor about relationships, primarily family and how it’s affected our perspective on love, dating and connectivity. It dawned on me after chatting with this seemingly simple guy, how fucked up so many people are from the most random things in life. Since my idea of normalcy was always a far cry from what we know as a “traditional family” it’s easy for me to almost lose a little sympathy when people carry a lifelong affliction for mishaps. It’s impossible to put yourself in someone’s shoes, experience the depth of their sorrow or even identify with their struggle to overcome those obstacles. Life is so fucked up in that sense, there is no rhyme or reason so many times. I’ve learned it’s all about how you handle those obstacles but can certainly identify with the emotional ditch it digs. After this convo I thought to myself, we’re all repeating patterns over and over, with different people but inevitably that comfort keeps us wildly interested.

The chip on your shoulder theory is real. We carry ideals of attraction and perfection based on a need to identify with what we know as “good,” even if its not good at all. I’ve often found myself insanely attracted to people who share my vices. I’m not even just highlighting romantic endeavors, some of my closest friends are as wild, if not wilder than myself. We coccoon outselves in a judgement free zone, one where we can build out our madness and joy brick by brick. The problem with indulging in such comfort is there is no room for growth within that haven, you remain a slave to past notions and patterns that clearly haven’t worked out in a positive way. My best girlfriend and I always joke about how we facilitate each others destructive behavior, birds of a feather flock together right? I think we’re both just victims of enjoying a good time…excessively. GIRL’S GOTTA LIVE. Either way, looking into 2013 and staring 30 in the face, I recognize so many things about human nature and the effects of its nurture on others. No matter how easy it is to wind into a ball of destruction, conscious combat is the name of the game. We’re all a by-product of the experiences that molded us, no one is immune to influence. Grow up, learn to forgive and move forward 🙂

I think of this song every New Year’s day…

a) because of this lyric which I wish I could have yelled to someone at one point in my life: “I wish you a broken heart and a happy new year”

b) GlassJaw is so unique, and timeless to me even 14 years later

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