Party your body: beginning a journey into spiritual, physical + emotional well-being

We’ve all heard the phrase “you’ll understand when you’re older” and with each time I thought, this will never be me. Then suddenly one day you wake up and you’re older and there is no coming back. No one throws you a party, lines may not even be visible on your face but the fact of the matter is life happens and once you’re acclimated with its madness, it’s hard to come back. None more evident than with our bodies and over the past month I’ve accelerated into a deep discovery mode with my body. When I started Crossfit I had no clue what I was in store for, especially given the fact that most people I knew who did it were male. There has to be something behind a fitness craze that not only costs you an excessive amount of money, but can also compel the masses to praise its name. As one of the girls in my class appropriately called it, “cult status.” Now that I am a few weeks in I think I can put my finger on the pulse of it…

Some people naturally push themselves in working out and its usually evident by one glance at their bodies. Other people, like myself, will push to complete but without coercion will not consciously go to the next step. It’s enlightening to see how this principle in my physical activity life also spills over to my work and personal life. I’ve had personal coaches before, as well as taken group exercise classes – both were meh to me, for lack of a better description. There is something about Crossfit that takes all the lacking elements of those regiments and sews them together. Not trying to sell anyone on it but if a skeptical bitch like me and get with the program and survive with a smile on my face, it’s gotta be the real deal. I’ve funneled all my aggression and disappointment for the way I thought things would BE at this age for me and am trying to create a reality for how I WANT it to look. I feel amazing and it’s not because I’ve lost weight, look better or care more not to intoxicate my body – it is because for once in my life I have pushed myself to the limit physically where I almost literally felt I cannot do this anymore and yet somehow do. This must be what it feels like daily to be a pro athlete, it’s kind of an incredible high I have never experienced before. I’ve lost my desire to get white girl wasted and smoke myself stupid because it will only impede that high, ruin what I’ve built. It’s both a frightening and liberating to experience this metamorphosis. I think to myself, there are so many things I still cannot do physically that clearly other people are easily doing, do I suck?! It becomes a challenge, not to beat them, but to be a better me. Quite a bro sentiment to take on but one day I woke up and just realized that I just needed to do something different for me, align my mind, body and spirit. Rejuvenating my spirit was an especially high priority because for the last half of 2012 I just felt it lost and defeated. I came to the ultimate realization that something in my life had to change in a major way in order to realign it. Fortunately with my new found positivity I have been able to steer away from my go to vices, you come before you.

At the end of the day I will never be a pro athlete or even super skinny for that matter. I’m not mad at that because like so many other real, thick women I was not born from that seed. Feeling good is not about being 100 pounds, it is about being the sickest version of yourself that you can be.  I’m learning daily how to abolish those bad elements from my life and push myself to reach new highs. You never know how far you can take that momentum until you give something an honest, dedicated try. It’s exciting to see and feel change and no one will do it for you, you just have to man up, let go of what you hold on to that is poisoning you and take the journey. We shall see where I end up 🙂


One thought on “Party your body: beginning a journey into spiritual, physical + emotional well-being

  1. very inspiring.. I will post this on our facebook page.. CrossFit IGNITE… You go girl.. Let the metal drive your chaos down the proper pathways.. \m/

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