For the first time in quite a long time I had to sit down and write a card. Stupid, mindless action to most but as a woman of my word I always find this extremely challenging. What do I say? What if I don’t correctly capture what i’m trying to say? Does this sound fucking stupid/corny? A myriad of insecurities and questions flood into one of life’s simplest actions. I think back to times where lovers apart would pine over 10 page letters detailing their happenings, passions and desires, only to be received by their beloved a month later. Honesty was value, a commitment of time, energy and emotion. It then occurred to me that we’re living in an age where commitment is a foreign concept to many because so little requires time anymore. Instant gratification has become the death of sentimentalism.
Often I forget what a bleeding heart sentimentalist I used to be at one time and in writing this card I recalled some solid memories. I’ve never been a surface person; bullshit, phoniness, backstabbing – none of that is appealing to me, which is highly ironic given the soul sucking profession I have chosen. Some of the most appealing qualities in friends, lovers, family, coworkers, and peers are thoughtfulness and honesty. Sometimes I wonder if this is how other generations felt as technology streamlined communication, has it acted as a bridge or created more roadblocks for clarity? Is there something wrong with being so overly sentimental? We’re living in a world that values callousness, promotes a strong facade but never addresses the emotional byproducts of such a self-serving way of living. After writing this card, I was reminded that a few candidly honest words, earnestly delivered can mean so much.
Memories are contingent on the sentimental aspects of each word, instance, relationship and situation they are connected to. We wake up every morning breathing the same air yet can’t take time out to utter a few nice positive things to one another through the day. It astounds me how few people value the sentimental and sometimes I really think I may be insane with the degree of emotion I feel daily. Billions of bodies moving around in empty cavities that can promote positive change yet pull out emotional daggers at the drop of a dime. All we have in this world when we exit are those moments and memories, were not taking our money, pride or thoughts to the grave. Put the pen to the paper a let the honesty free-flow, let someone know what they mean to you because you never know when it could be too late.