Hey Jealousy.

If you make it far enough to walk out of your 20’s alive it’s a sure bet that you’ll learn some of life’s most crucial lessons within that time. Life will enthrall you, fuck you and throw you back into the ring for more beating. One key thing I have learned, especially with dating,  ambiguous sexual situations and everything in-between is that jealously does not equal love, ever. Where there is ego, there is competition and where competition is involved it is only a matter of time before jealousy rears its’ ugly head. It’s manipulative, self-serving and never productive for the mind and soul. Actions spawned by jealousy are also suspect under this umbrella because non coerced intention is the most definite thing a person can receive. Actions will always speak louder than disposable words.

I didn’t come to this conclusion by being a spectator alone, my heartbreak as a participant has turned me so far off to this behavior that I can sniff it out from a mile away. I once was in a very bad situation that was not the shining star moment of my morality. For all the bad involved, I can wholeheartedly say my actions were based on pure feelings and I was strung along hardcore. When glimmers of the truth popped up, I refused to read the writing on the wall and opted to feed mercilessly off the drama. What many men fail to understand repeatedly is most women just wanna believe in love and I was no exception. As self-inflicted as some of my pain was in this instance, a huge part of it unveiled how deep and devious jealousy can be. Perhaps the most humorous aspect of it all was being the recipient of jealousy, throwing my interest in other men in my face when that person indeed had another girl, that absolutely drove me insane. Alpha against alpha is never good, two egos that cannot stand to be bruised. As a Scorpio, I could never let this happen, I would dish out jealousy bait and go back in for more until I felt revenge was served. It ultimately became a game of empty words, promises and feelings but at the end we both lost because all that was left was a waste of time and energy. Yes, I was supremely dickmatized, but the one thing I could identify regardless was how addictive false jealousy could be and how ineffective it is for a real, loving relationship. So many people pop off words like its going out of style, promises, plans never manifested and dishonest intention. There’s no mystery in that, it’s call disinterest. As someone who never understood wasting someone else’s time, I can confidently say I rarely do that to another human. Every action, every word is an index card in in the file of your life yet so few people take it seriously. So many people are seeking out this level of unattainable perfection while looking over what is real, existing gloriously right in front of your eyes. One thing that is tried and true, the hot ones ALWAYS come with a price. Whether it comes down to their inability to keep it in the pants or dealing with schemin’ bitches constantly trying to creep in, “perfection” does not come cheap. Be careful with unjustified jealously, it’s a byproduct of overblown ego and insecurity. Action is always king in every situation and if they are unwilling to seal the deal, you have to lay down the law. Jealously will never equal real, pure, nurturing love – never forget that.

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2 thoughts on “Hey Jealousy.

  1. Cool post, funny the other day walking into the super market I was thinking about how every “hot” person I was ever involved with came with baggage. Don’t get me wrong, everyone has their baggage (me included), but man sometimes you just want to hang out with someone you can bond with on an intellectual level, and know that they give a shit about you, and vice versa rather than just worrying about being with the hottest person around. Ultimately you look at a lot of celebrities, athletes, musicians, etc. that are all married to models, and a good percentage end up with someone else because once you get past the hotness, or it fades, if there is nothing else to that person, than what do you have aside from a superficial relationship.

    Anyway, back on your main topic, jealousy sucks, I’ve only ever dated women from Jersey or Spain, and the last relationship I had stateside was ruined by jealousy. It was a drag that lasted years to get away from, even after the relationship was done, and I had moved 3000 miles away! It sucks that a person can be so insecure to think every female is a threat, and regardless of how many times you say “listen this behavior is just driving me away” just didn’t sink in. That just continued to haunt me for what seemed like forever.

    We all get jealous at one time or another, and that’s good to continue to drive a relationship. But overbearing, beating a dead horse jealousy only drives people away.

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