Diving into the vat of bullshit: 5 hilariously shady behavioral patterns of men

I’ve been asked by so many people how/why I am still single and all I can respond is, “it’s the Wild West out there.” There are always rumblings about these mythical “good guys” that exist in the real world but unfortunately I have yet to experience many firsthand. Don’t get me wrong, I know they exist but sadly I am rarely attracted to someone who will function like a normal, honest human being. Undoubtedly, my attraction to the hot and dangerous could be a seminal factor in the basura I repeatedly attract. However, I have noticed through the HILARIOUS stories of other women around me and by watching the actions of my male friend and counterparts that my experiences have not been felt in isolation. We are living in an age where men get away with some truly abhorrent behavior.

You’d think age and experience would wash away some of that immature uncertainty but I’ve met my share of “grown men” who could commit to less than a toddler. These familiar patterns are not isolated to my own experiences and frankly whenever I find an exception to any of these rules it’s an anomaly. Patterns are readable and if there is one thing I’ve seen during my dating career it’s these patterns repeat. Never interested and frankly, two of the hottest things a guy could offer me are honesty and reliability. Sad world we live in when those things that were once the foundation of a man’s character and integrity have become things that need to be asked for. Some say it’s just NYC but somehow I highly doubt that, shade knows no geographical bounds. Without further adieu, here are some hilariously telling things some men do that exemplify their shady character.

5. Lie when there is no need to
No matter what way you slice it, lies will inevitably result in a downward spiral. I understand the value of white lies and small deceptions to keep the peace, but when you need to lie in a mass scale repeatedly – something is not right. Women get so heated about  lies because we don’t want to waste time with a liar. Plain and simple, so many men could avoid the melodrama if they learned how to be forthcoming and nature enough to handle the initial repercussions.

4. Conveniently disappear and re-appear
A girlfriend of mine told me a story about a doctor she was seeing years ago who randomly stopped hitting her up (which reassured me that it’s not just shitty artists and musicians who are dbags). We joked,”where did you go” and used it as the go-to phrase for similar situations that arose. We all know where they go, elsewhere. Most women are privy to this and chances are the minute you dip to satiate your selfish needs will be the minute we begin to move on as well. Nobody deserves to be waiting by the window for someone who cannot commit or have common courtesy. I truly don’t understand how hard it is to tell someone the truth or give them a heads up. It blows my mind that men can make it to such an elevated stage of life without having to actualize or verbalize any of their feelings. You can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Centuries ago men were thought to be the pinnacle of virtue, chivalry was more than a word, it was a code of conduct. In 2013, not so much.

3. Unsolicited and unwarranted dick/nude pics
News flash: a dick pic is only good if a) your penis is freakishly good looking and large, or b) the body the dick is based on is in good shape. I don’t know any girl who likes looking at dick pics for thrills and in fact we usually will laugh at them and show them to out girlfriends, true story. Unless we’re asking you for them, think twice before you try introducing your Johnson to any woman’s eyeballs.

2. Turn the argument around on you
This infuriates me. You did something wrong, man up and take the blame instead of turning the tables to diffuse blame. Oldest and corniest trick in the book.

1. Waste your time then expect you to still have interest
One of the most fatal infractions in life is wasting someone’s time. Maybe I’m naive enough to believe that like myself, when someone’s word is given they mean it. Who has time to decipher the meaning behind seemingly earnest words? Understandably things do happen but when you’re a flake, the intent becomes apparent. Frankly, shadiness is a bore to a real woman. A girl will play the game, a woman will move on and above the ill behavior of a man child. If you say something, follow through or don’t expect us to still be there. If you expect to be treated like a man, approach a woman with the same respect.

I gave my heart to rock n roll.

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2 thoughts on “Diving into the vat of bullshit: 5 hilariously shady behavioral patterns of men

  1. Great post and great line “A girl will play the game, a woman will move on and above the ill behavior of a man child.” I think the insight in the last point is what really helped me to wade through the sea of dirties out there. I think that the sooner you make clear what you want, the sooner your potential mate will either meet your expectation or fail to meet your expectation. It is this process that helps you to keep taking out the trash until you find a keeper. Women have to be tough these days and totally cut through the bullshit because we deserve better!

  2. brilliant enlightenment, however, those 5 things are not solely limited to the male species. while yes a lot of men have issues limiting them in the specific realm of talking about their deeper thoughts and feelings (present company included) what woman need to understand is that it is a hindrance and just as frustrating to us just as much as you. next, only DoucheNozzles send dick pics. you can place a lot of blame on creating such craptastic behavior on MTV

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