Notions: a hell so beautiful that it would torment an angel to insanity

Notions, it’s funny how we all have them. I’m often caught between questioning my madness and realizing that I am right in my suspicions on a daily basis. Often I am guilty of branding off the bat and categorizing what role people will play in my life based on the most ridiculous of criteria. Ironically, some the power players in the story of this madness I live in have been growers – people I wouldn’t have immediately thought of as important to me. It’s funny how we as humans thrive on the idea of notions and battle to either validate them or dissipate the chains that bind us to them. Someone recently said something to me that took the inquisitive nutcase in me a few days to really grasp and dissect. He basically stated that no matter how many facts and instances you know about someone, you can learn more about their past by just being with them and getting to know how they are. Clearly, this isn’t secret information but when I really took a second to step back and think about it I realized how fucked up my criteria wall was.

When we are kids, we work in purity. It’s easier to identify what is desired in others because there is seemingly endless time to figure it out. As we grow older two major factors dig into our consciousness: time and that preconceived notion. Some days time feels like a fast fleeting beast, something we will never get back. Like everyone, I’ve invested tons of time into people who turned out to be a waste of it and vice versa. Based on that alone it has become difficult for me, through friendships and more, to see time as anything less than gold value. Time is money and energy and although I do believe in random occurrence, it’s important to focus your time on things that will be fulfilling to you. On a separate but equal plane we have preconceived notions that rip potential in life to shreds. I was dining with some girlfriends and we poured over how relevant and stupid some of our notions are. What I have discovered is that idea is a fallacy, something designed to help us sit atop the perch without throwing one real victory attempt. Those you think will pan out in down fantasy, usually turn into something disappointing, a true mix of your own projection and reality. Our notions are usually based on stupid things, vanity and social cues gone too far. It’s always tragic when you look back to a situation and realize the outcome was the combo of your crazy manifesting itself. I get douche chills just thinking about it. Learn to get over yourself and the limits your notions put on you, nothing is and will ever be “perfect.”

In fact, one thing that is true is action speaks louder than words and it is always “complicated.” Open your mind, set aside your notions and see where the chips may fall. Take a walk on the wild side.


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