“Bad things happen to good people”

There’s no way to describe the numbness, disbelief and anger I woke up with today. Receiving the news that a close friend has passed away is never easy but the absolute agony of an unexpected death, is just endless. I can’t help but look at photos of us smiling from only a few weeks ago, read over texts sent in laughter, or think about how she may have felt at that moment when she knew it was the end. Two years ago I got a similar call about my friend Mario who was instrumental in my life and had to fight through some of the deepest pain I have ever known. You constantly return to the thoughts, “did we leave off right” and ” I hope they know I loved them.” Both Mario and Perla were beautiful, supportive, hard-working, real ass people – selfless individuals whose genuine qualities came through no matter what. It boils me inside that such pure souls had to suffer such a cruel fate. There are people in this world who would take your happiness in a heartbeat, vile humans who don’t deserve to breathe the same air as their pure counterparts. Why is it that those repulsive people get to live and have chances? After getting the news about Perla yesterday all I could defer to mentally was “why wasn’t it me instead?” The devastation knows no answers.

Perla was an incredibly unique and beautiful woman, both aesthetically and internally. Women that beautiful rarely posses the amount of true confidence and humility she exuded, a genuine one in a million. I met her in-between industry jobs in 2008, when we worked at a bar together in Newark. From the first day I met her I was intrigued by her – she had also worked in music and was a guitarist, it’s a rare find in those parts. Her carefree, warm spirit was always something to look forward to at work. Eventually I left the bar to begin at SiriusXM and Perla left to work elsewhere as well. We kept in touch lightly over the years but I always enjoyed keeping tabs on what she was doing. The amazing thing about Perla was her pure intent and genuine good-will towards others. In a world where many women are constantly trying to sabotage other women in jealousy, Perla was refreshingly unwilling to be that girl. She lifted up every person, especially other women, inspiring me to dump any vain jealousy towards other women and take the higher road. I never told her how much her attitude positively influenced me, but it was a priceless lesson she taught me just by existing.

A few years ago she contacted me to tell me she had moved to NYC and was ending her marriage. We decided to hang out one fateful night where I introduced her to my friend/coworker Troy, who was DJing at the bar we went to. They hit it off and jumped in, totally random but I couldn’t think of a better match. They complimented each other so well and I don’t think I have ever seen either of them happier than when they were together. Perla and I kept close touch and worked on some cool projects together, which showed me a whole other side of her awesome personality. Working with Perla on the Barred For Life event really showed me how talented and tapped in she was, determined to make everything a success and connect the dots. She was a woman who had great ideas and always followed through with them. She also always gave me some key advice that I never listened to, “stay away from those old Spanish men.” In hindsight, I’m so grateful to have reconnected with her over the last few years and had the privilege of having such a sweet, amazingly supportive friend in my life. I wanted everything for her because she fucking deserved it. I will never forget her beautiful spirit, the way she brought everyone together or how much fun we had living la vida loca. Perla had a lust for life, it is something I will miss dearly.

If you love someone, let them know every chance you can. Take each moment in, it may be the last.

RIP my chica ❤

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2 thoughts on ““Bad things happen to good people”

  1. My heart goes out to you. My baby sister, who was a kind, compassionate, sweet, and very intelligent little girl died from years of crack and Oxy abuse at age 24. She was 17 years my junior. She should have been there to choose my nursing home in the next 20-30 years. She was a sweet person who couldn’t deal with a lot of what life dealt her. I tried. My brother and father tried. My wife tried. Stuff just went down the toilet. I can’t say I know your pain, but I do relate to it.

    Those waterfalls in Rickett’s Glen SP and near the DE Water Gap can be scary. I feel lucky to have survived a major hike when there was ice on the trails at Rickett’s Glen a month before my sister passed. After my sister passed, I understand your “why wasn’t it me”? question.

    You were left here to do something awesome, beyond the great job you do on Liquid Metal. It’s easy to say, but all I can pretend to suggest is that you be grateful you knew her and called her your friend. Take what you have learned from her and pay it forward. I suspect she will be watching and taking pleasure in your honoring her memory.

    Just an observation from an old fart who enjoys your work and hopes you find the happiness you are seeking.

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