Don’t waste my time.

Time is the most precious thing we have. This entire week has been a snapshot of what does and doesn’t matter IRL. I’ve lived my life over the past few years with ludicrous transparency and absolutely no regrets. I am admittedly a badass when duty calls, willing to drop a punch in a second if it affects something or someone I care about. However, I think many people would be surprised to know how deep and almost shy I am as well. I do not open up to many people, so when I do I expect people to reciprocate and protect my heart. Unfortunately, to every 1 person who upholds that there are literally 20 that don’t. That is why I keep my circle tight, we’ve all been maimed by falsehood and selfishness – the most important lesson you can learn from that is who is and isn’t worth your time.

This year I vowed to try something new and in many ways foreign to my personal life, saying what I truly feel. I know, I know – isn’t that such an ingrained part of who am I that it is my career? Clearly, but my work self couldn’t be further from what is really speaking in my heart. I’ve given people way too much of my time in the past when I should have been focusing my time on others and myself. Always remember that It’s not what you do for a living, or how much money and prestige you rake in. It’s not the false words you say in vain, or how much you’re able to comfortably get away with. It’s the beautiful time you spend with those legitimately in your heart in pure, truth filled disposition.

It pains me that some people who claimed to care about me, people I not only speak to often but hang out with, go MIA when times got hard time in my life. This week has truly taught me that there are a) so many incredibly sympathetic & thoughtful strangers out there, b) my close friends are my rock and lastly, c) some people are just selfish, inconsiderate, cowardly garbage. Nothing worse than a literal and proverbial pussy who can’t have consideration when times get hard and real. I understand that in this day and age, we communicate through different mediums. I’m not expecting a fanfare call, a simple real acknowledgement of my pain is enough. Surprisingly there were many people I did not hear from at all, or even better I did hear from but with no acknowledgment of this huge thing that just occurred. They can’t all be happy moments and I have went out of my way for so many people selflessly in my life. When disappointments like this happen it reminds me how much I need to stop wasting time with people who aren’t worth my time. In what I do for a living, the bargain and favor are commodity. We chase opportunity instead of reality and it absolutely slaughters me inside somedays. I have went out of my way and given so much time to others, it’s just so rare I receive the same. I’m not disclosing this for pity or to solicit sympathy – this is real life my friends, when times get hard certain people are just nowhere to be found. Frankly, it surprised me. It is those people who are there through the rain, supporting you and getting you through, that deserve to be with you in the sunshine.

Over the years and through many heartbreaks, I’ve come to the conclusion that time is the most important commodity of all. As much as I try not to be jaded and give chances to people who waste my time, the true light of their corruption filters through. Give your time to those who deserve it and who give you their precious time back.

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