Life lessons, of the clumsy kind

You never plan for an accident. The minute it happens it’s pretty common to immediately feel a wave of painful regret. If only…but it doesn’t matter, frankly you’re fucked. My accident was life’s comedy at it’s best. Only minutes after I took off my stacked 6 inch stilettos and stepped on to a dance floor barefoot, did I come down aggressively on my foot. I felt it right away and burst out appropriately laughing in pain, there was no way life could be this cruelly ironic right? Oh but it was, and in the swirl of pity, empathy, frustration and annoyance it’s hits you – it’s gonna be awhile before life gets back to normal. A year and a half of rigorous Crossfit and no injury – so how could this be the asshole thing to bring me down? You just need to laugh at it all or prep the noose. So in my typical “you do what you can” fashion, I’m trying to look at the bright side somewhere here. Here are some gimp lessons I’ve learned so far:

• Looking cute is impossible because no matter how hot you look, you’re still the gimp chick

• Men can still be very courteous  and chivalrous. There’s also something kinda hot about a man carrying you with only the strength of his body 😉

• You need to triple check every move you make because every step is such an a overbearing effort. Am I optimizing my reach with this move? Can I wheel myself somewhere? You’d be surprised how many small BS steps you take a day!

• Sleeping with a cast is like having a bionic traitor in your bed

• Being disabled in NYC, or any city for that matter, is torture. With all the stairs, subways and trains we need to siphon through it’s a real life obstacle course. I’ll never snicker or be impatient with others in this position again!

• Staying home used to seem like such a last resort for me but being here has put so much into perspective, life slowed down is kind of beautiful if your feel a little gratitude for the small things

• The less you move, the less hungry you are. If the one bright side is losing a few pounds in time for summer, I’ll take it 🙂

THE BEST PART: this is the song I went down to…

 

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